Nothing Left to Lose Read online

Page 8

  Author: Kirsty Moseley

  He turned around to face me, looking concerned, still standing close to me, his chest almost pressing into mine. “You were dreaming?” he asked quietly. I nodded in response. He blew out a large breath and swapped his knife into his gun hand so he could drag his hand through his messy bed hair. “Holy fuck. You were screaming as if you were being murdered,” he said, looking at me, wide eyed.

  “Maybe I was,” I murmured.

  He raised his hand and brushed some hair over my shoulder before taking hold of my hand. “It’s because of what I did earlier, wasn’t it?” he muttered. His voice was full of remorse.

  I shook my head fiercely. “No, it wasn’t,” I assured him. “I have nightmares every night, it had nothing to do with you,” I promised. He squeezed my hand gently, sending little tingles up my arm. I frowned, noticing how I didn’t hate that he was touching me. Maybe it was just practice, like he’d suggested. “Maybe you should change rooms. There’s another room upstairs, you won’t hear me then. ” My eyes dropped to my feet as heat flooded my face from embarrassment.

  “Do you dream like that every night?” he asked, bending his head to look into my eyes.

  “Yeah,” I nodded. “But I don’t want to talk about it, so please don’t ask. I’m sorry I woke you up. ”

  His green eyes locked on mine. They were strangely calming. “I don’t mind that you woke me up. I just wish you’d let me try and help you. ”

  Help me? No one could help me; it was too late for that. The only person that could help me had died.

  “You can’t. ” I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away from me. He was standing so close and I was getting hot, trapped in the corner. I needed some air.

  “I can, you just need to let me in,” he said, catching my hand again.

  I groaned in frustration. “Ashton, please just leave. I just need some air or something. I’m sorry I woke you, I won’t go back to sleep again so you can get some sleep. ” I stepped away from him, needing a little personal space.

  He shook his head adamantly. “You can go back to sleep. I’ll watch over you. That way you might not have any more nightmares,” he suggested, gripping the back of my dresser chair and pulling it to the side of the bed.

  I laughed incredulously. “And that’s part of your new job description?” I shot back sarcastically.

  He shook his head, turning on my bedside lamp before walking over to switch the ceiling lights off. “Nope. But I want you to feel safe with me so I’ll do whatever it takes. ”

  I scoffed, watching as plopped himself down in the chair. “So you’re going to watch me sleep?”

  “Yeah,” he confirmed, setting his gun and knife on the floor at the side of the chair.

  I gulped at his stern expression. “Ashton, seriously, please just go to bed. I won’t wake you again. ” I reached over and picked up a book from the side and got comfy on my bed to read it.

  He sighed deeply. “Look, when you get to know me, you’ll know that once I’ve made my mind up about something, there’s not much that can change it. Now I’m either gonna sit here and watch you sleep, or I’m gonna sit here and watch you read,” he stated, smiling at me cockily.

  I frowned as I read his expression. It was deadly serious; he wasn’t going back to sleep either way. We glared at each other for a couple of minutes, neither of us wanting to back down. Finally, I sighed deeply, knowing I’d lost. What he didn’t know was that I would still have nightmares with him sitting there anyway, so this little thing was pointless. My father had already tried sitting in the room while I slept; nothing helped. I’d tried everything, drugs, hypnotists, yoga; nothing had any effect on them. Maybe Ashton needed to find that out the hard way and lose a night of sleep before he’d give up trying to help me.

  I sighed and tossed my book in his direction. “Fine. Wanna read that?” I asked as he caught it.

  He grinned and looked at the cover. “You like vampires?” he asked, holding up my battered and abused copy of Twilight.

  I smiled back. “I like that one,” I admitted, settling back into the bed and just watching him flick through to the first page. “Good night. ”

  “Night, Anna. ” Sitting there reading, in just a pair of black boxers, I saw no sign of the badass from minutes before, he was back to male model again now.

  I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep, knowing that it wouldn’t come easy. It never did.

  Chapter Four

  I woke in the morning after having one of the best night’s sleep I’d had in years. I had laid awake for ages with my back to him, listening to him flipping the pages of the book. But the thing that I remembered most about last night was the moment I realised he’d fallen asleep. Ashton Taylor, easily the most handsome man I had seen in a long time, snored. And not just a little, quiet snore either; it was a loud chainsaw-type sound. For a long time I’d laid there, giggling to myself, as I watched him with his head propped against his hand, his legs folded under him and the book abandoned on his lap. It was actually a cute sight. I’d eventually fallen asleep too, still hearing the sound of his snores even in my dreams. It was nice actually because it was like they’d stopped me from going into a deep sleep. I hadn’t had any more nightmares last night, just like he’d hoped.

  I sighed contentedly and looked over at him still slumped in the same position. He would probably suffer for the awkward position all day long. I smiled weakly and pulled the sheets up around my shoulders as he stirred too, wincing as he moved and blinked a couple of times.

  “Hi,” I greeted, unsure what I was supposed to say. This was a first for me.

  “Morning,” he yawned, sitting forward and arching his back, letting out a little groan. “You sleep okay?”

  I smiled and nodded, wondering if I should tease him for snoring so loud. I decided against it, after all, he had attempted to stay awake all night so I could sleep. It wasn’t my place to make fun of him after he’d forgone his bed for me. “Actually, yeah I did. Thanks,” I answered sheepishly.

  He grinned triumphantly, swinging his legs off the chair and standing up, stretching. Without my permission, my eyes instantly raked down his body, taking in every inch of his perfection from his tanned skin, his chiselled abs and the little V-line that disappeared down into his underwear. I gulped and closed my eyes quickly before he caught me watching him.

  “You think I could maybe borrow this so I can read the end?” he asked.

  I opened my eyes to see him awkwardly holding up my book. I smiled and nodded, noting his obvious embarrassment that he was enjoying a book aimed predominantly at teenage girls. “No need to be embarrassed, you can’t beat a good vampire novel. I’ve got the other three as well if you want them. ”

  He laughed and shrugged. “I’m not embarrassed; I’m just waiting for the teasing to start because I read a chick book. ”

  “Chick book,” I laughed at his derogatory choice of words, sitting up and shaking my head.

  He smiled and nodded back towards the door. “I’m gonna go grab a shower. ” When he bent down to retrieve his gun and knife from the floor, my eyes sneakily dropped down to his behind. I arched one eyebrow in appreciation. The back view was actually just as good as the front. After collecting his weapons, he strutted across the room, pulling open the door. Before he could leave I called his name, making him turn to look at me expectantly.

  “Thank you for last night. That was nice of you,” I admitted. The words were hard to say. I wasn’t used to being nice to people lately so I was kind of unsure how to do it.

  His lips curved into a beautiful smile. “Anytime. ”

  As he closed the door behind him, I pushed myself out of the bed, deciding that I would take a shower too.

  After, I didn’t bother drying my hair or putting on make-up – I never did. I threw on a pair of loose combat-style jeans and a black tank top with a black, baggy sweatshirt ov
er the top, and then headed downstairs for breakfast.

  As I walked into the kitchen, I saw Ashton sitting at the breakfast bar with a huge stack of pancakes in front of him. The kitchen staff were falling all over him. Sarah, the waitress, was flirting with him shamelessly, her cl**vage almost popping out of her shirt that was never normally undone like that.

  My stomach was already full of anguish over what was going to happen this morning, so instead of eating a proper breakfast, I just grabbed a banana, ignoring how Mary, the chef, frowned disapprovingly.

  Ashton turned and smiled at me. This earned me a nasty look from Sarah because she’d lost his attention. While I poured a glass of orange juice, she stepped closer to him, pulling her shoulders back to make her br**sts look like they were about to pop out of her shirt. “So, Ashton, I have a few hours off today, would you like to do something?” she asked, raising one eyebrow in a silent offer of nakedness, I assumed.

  A frown lined his forehead as he shook his head. “Actually I was hoping that Anna would want to hang out with me today,” he replied, turning to me.

  The banana seemed to get stuck in my throat. “I’m busy today. ” I had things I needed to do.

  One of his eyebrows rose in question. “Oh really, what are you doing?”

  I swallowed loudly. This was why I didn’t like having guards; they were always trying to get into things that had nothing to do with them. “I’ve got things to do. It’s not really any of your business,” I replied rudely, downing the last of my juice before tossing the banana skin into the trash can and storming out of the room before he could question me further.

  Pulling my keys out of my pocket, I strutted out of the front door and over to my car. Just as I opened the door and slid in, I heard him shout, “Hey! Where the hell are you going?”

  I winced as I saw Ashton jog out of the house, frowning angrily in my direction. Annoyance bubbled in my stomach because I didn’t want him with me. Deciding to leave before he could insist I let him come, I threw the car into drive and shoved my foot down on the gas. Instead of watching me leave like I’d assumed he would, he jumped into the path of the car. My eyes widened in horror as I slammed my foot down on the brake and held my breath, waiting for the thud of his body to hit the car. It didn’t, instead almost as soon as the car stopped, the passenger door opened and he climbed in, still glaring at me.