Man Crush Monday Page 25

  She nods to me, and I turn, seeing a petite lady with mousy hair walking towards me. There’s a sad smile on her face, and my heart sinks.

  “Hi, are you Amy? I was told you were coming in because their parents are a while away.” She reaches for me and nods towards the double doors at the end of the corridor. “Come with me.”

  “Are they okay?” The words hurt my throat on the way out, and I look over at her with wide eyes.

  She purses her lips, seeming to choose her words. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you too much, as you’re not next of kin. One of them is up in surgery. It’s touch and go; he was very badly injured. But they’re both in the best place. We’re doing all we can. It would really help us though if we could identify them. I’m not sure if you were told much, but it was a car accident, a pretty bad one. Neither of them had ID on their person. The paramedics found their wallets and phones in the car, but as they’re identical, it’s impossible for us to tell from their licences which is which.”

  She shoots me a sad smile, and I nod in understanding.

  I blindly follow her down corridors, past closed curtains and open ones where people sit or lie on beds, their faces scrunched with pain. My head is swimming, my stomach churning so much that I wonder if I actually need to vomit. The adrenaline of the phone call is wearing off now, and my exhaustion is making my legs feel like concrete blocks as I try to keep pace with the petite little nurse, who’s surprisingly fast, her shoes squeaking on the linoleum floor.

  “The one who’s down here has a fracture of the tibia, two broken ribs, and some cuts and bruises. He’s unconscious at the moment, and we’re going to get him up into surgery to set his leg as soon as possible.”

  As we approach the end of the corridor, a doctor looks up.

  Beverly waves to get his attention. “This is Amy. She’s here to identify the Stone twins if possible.” She turns to me. “Do you think you can? Is there some kind of distinguishing mark?”

  I nod, unable to speak, my chin wobbling as more tears fall.

  “Great.” The doctor nods and steps to the side of a blue curtain, tugging it back.

  I drop my eyes, taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to prepare myself. I study a little black mark that stains against the cream floor, wanting to put this off as long as possible. I’m not sure who I want to see lying in the bed. Whichever one is here, it means the other is fighting for his life in surgery. My feelings are still interwoven for them both. Either way, this whole situation is awful.

  I can barely force my eyes up, but I make myself. The figure on the bed is smashed and still. There’s blood smeared on his face, tubes sticking from his hand. His leg is strapped in some kind of blue boot thing, and I can see bloodstained bandages over it. His head is strapped to a red board, blocks stuffed around his ears, holding him still. The heart rate monitor beeps steadily next to his bed.

  A whimper cracks out of my throat, and I reach up to cover my mouth. Looking at him lying there is like torture.

  The doctor clears his throat, and I look up at him, seeing him watching me expectantly. I glance back at the man in the bed and force my heavy legs forward, leaning over so I can see his face.

  My eyes search among the grime, seeking out the little mole. There it is … under his right eye.

  What’s left of my heart breaks even further as emotion so powerful washes over me that I have to grip the edge of the bed for support as my knees almost give out.

  “This is Theo Stone,” I croak. The words feel as if they rip my throat on the way out, and I sink down into the chair next to his bed and weep.

  twenty.eight

  I’m broken, fundamentally broken inside. Nothing works. My body is uncoordinated and jerky, and my breathing comes out in ragged gasps as I sob into my hands. All I can see when I close my eyes is Jared, alone, fighting for his life. The thought of losing him is killing me, tearing me apart inside.

  When I’m finally able to breathe again, I dial Deborah. She answers on the first ring, her voice a desperate plea as she says my name.

  I clear my throat. “Hi, I’m here. It’s Jared who’s in surgery. Theo’s okay.” My voice breaks, and I can’t say anything else as my vision blurs with tears.

  Deborah lets out a pain-filled wail that I feel in my gut, and we basically cry together down the phone for a good five minutes, neither of us saying a word.

  “Deborah, tell Amy we’ll be there soon. Maybe half an hour. Deborah!” Kenneth says in the background.

  But all that comes down the line from Deborah is a pitiful squeak.

  I nod in understanding, my breath hitching. “I heard. Half an hour,” I mumble, just needing to be off the phone. “I’ll see you soon. Drive safe.” I disconnect the phone and swipe at my tears.

  “Amy?”

  I jump and turn, seeing a familiar face tentatively poking around the end of the curtain.

  Tim frowns at me and pulls the curtain back some more when he sees it is me. “I thought I heard your voice! What are you doing here?” He steps in the cubicle, and his gaze drops to the bed, his eyes widening in surprise. “Oh shit! What happened?”

  With one arm, he engulfs me in a hug, pulling me against his body. With the other, he picks up the chart from the end of the bed and starts looking over it.

  I press my face into his chest, wrapping my arms around him in a bear hug, ignoring that he smells slightly of stale sweat and cheese and onion crisps. He’s probably coming to the end of a twelve-hour shift. It’s so good to see him and be comforted that I don’t even care.

  “It’s not Jared,” I croak, crying into his neck as he rubs my back. “It’s his brother. Jared is …” I whimper and squeeze my eyes shut. “Jared is in surgery. They … they …” I’m hyperventilating, and I can’t finish my sentence.

  Tim pulls back and drops the chart on the bed, tightly gripping my shoulders. “Breathe. You need to chill. Take a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth, like this.”

  He shows me how, his breath blowing across my face as I force myself to copy him, my eyes latched on his. My heart is jackhammering so fast in my chest that it feels like it’s about to explode.

  When I’m finally more in control, Tim pulls me into a hug again. “Amy, I have to go for a bit. I came down here to collect a patient. I thought I heard your voice, so I came to check, but they’re probably waiting for me right now. I’ll go get my patient and take her up to my ward, and then I’ll come back down here, okay?”

  I sniff and pull back, putting on a brave face even though I feel like I’m slowly dying inside. “You don’t have to. Jared’s parents will be here soon.”

  He waves off my protests with a flick of his hand. “I’m due a break anyway. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll come sit with you until his parents arrive.” He leans in and kisses the side of my head before squeezing my hand and slipping out of the gap in the curtain again.

  Once alone, I can barely look at Theo. It’s too painful. Guilt and shame swirl in my stomach with the agony and worry, and every glance at his face just makes that intensify.

  For something to do, I pick up the chart and clip it back on the end of his bed, and then I fiddle with the hand sanitiser lotion bottle. Eventually, when there’s nothing else for me to busy myself with, I watch his heart rate monitor until Tim arrives back downstairs ten minutes later.

  When he pokes his head around the curtain, I smile at him gratefully. Having him here doesn’t make anything easier; it just means I have someone to cling to. I feel lost, like I’m stuck on a rock in the middle of the ocean with waves crashing around me, growing more intense and terrifying with each one.

  Tim takes my hand and looks over at Theo. “Heather told me about the twin thing. It’s crazy how much they look alike. Now, I see why you didn’t know.”

  I nod and chew on my lip. “Tim, can you ask them if there’s any news about Jared? I asked them earlier, and they said they can’t tell me anything because I’m not next of kin.” I look at h
im pleadingly.

  He nods and leaves, coming back a couple of minutes later and shaking his head. “No news yet. He’s in surgery.”

  His eyes are alight with concern, and my body goes cold.

  “What aren’t you telling me? What else did they say?”

  He shakes his head. “Nothing. They didn’t say anything else. It’s just … he’s in a bad way, Amy. He might not …” He shakes his head again, and he doesn’t need to finish the sentence.

  Jared might not make it. I can see the sorrow and anguish on Tim’s face.

  I blink rapidly when my eyes burn with unshed tears. I refuse to let myself believe it. “He’ll be fine. He has to be.” Because I don’t know what I’ll do if he’s not. I shake my head and lift my chin. “He’ll be fine,” I repeat, more confident this time, pushing down my inner voice that isn’t quite so sure.

  Silence lapses over us. He just sits with me and holds my hand until Jared’s parents arrive. They bustle in, a hysterical sobbing mess, and Deborah leans over Theo’s unconscious body, fussing with the sheets and stroking his face. Kenneth looks down at me sadly, and I stand.

  Tim squeezes my hand. “I’ll leave you to it now. I should get back to work.”

  Kenneth turns to him, his eyes wide with urgency as he spots his nurse uniform and name tag. “Can you tell us anything? How are they? Have they given any indication how the surgery’s going?”

  Tim clears his throat, and his eyes flick to me and then back to Kenneth again. “I’m sorry. I don’t work in this department. I’m a friend of Amy’s. I saw her come in, so I’ve just been keeping her company, waiting for you. You should ask at the nurses’ station; they’ll call upstairs for you and get an update.”

  “Oh.” Kenneth nods and steps aside, so Tim can pass. Then, he steps to my side and puts a supportive hand on my shoulder. “Have they told you anything? Why is Theo still out?” His fingers dig into my shoulder, and Deborah looks up at me hopefully.

  I shake my head. “They won’t tell me anything. I’m not next of kin. Every time I ask, they just say they can’t tell me anything. They just said I could wait in here with him until you arrived.”

  Deborah’s distraught eyes flick to her husband in a silent plea, and he nods in understanding.

  “I’ll go find someone.” He leaves, and I go to Deborah’s side, wrapping my arm around her shaking shoulders.

  She turns in my arms and hugs me tightly. We cling to each other like we’re both on that rock in the middle of the ocean, just waiting for a lifeline to come save us.

  Kenneth is pale when he comes back, and my muscles tense. He swallows a couple of times.

  “Okay, so Theo has a broken leg, couple of ribs. They’re going to send him up to surgery soon to set his leg. The doctor thinks it needs to be pinned.”

  My eyes flick to his leg, and I wince, a cold shiver trickling down my back.

  “Other than that, he’s doing okay. Scans and tests all came back good. They’re just keeping the head blocks on as a precaution, as he’s likely to have muscle damage in his neck.”

  I nod. Waiting.

  He clears his throat again, reaching up a shaky hand to wipe at his face. “Jared is in surgery now. He was driving and hit the steering column hard. There’s … some damage to his heart.”

  His heart? Oh God.

  A whimper slips from my mouth, and I clench my fists, digging my nails into my palms, trying to fight for control when all I want to do is scream and wail.

  “They’re in surgery now, fixing the blood vessels or something. There’s some other stuff, but it’s the heart they’re most concerned about.” Kenneth’s voice cracks as he says it.

  He’ll be fine. I repeat it silently, over and over in my head. I can’t bear to think about any other outcome.

  Jared Stone is not allowed to die. I simply forbid it.

  Kenneth goes to Deborah’s side and holds her while she cries. I feel a little like I’m intruding in their moment, but I can’t seem to make myself move. My whole body is numb and frozen to the spot.

  “When they bring him out of surgery, they’ll place him on the cardiology ward upstairs. They said there’s a waiting room up there we could sit in, or they’ll call down once he’s out.”

  Deborah pushes Kenneth away from her. “You go. You go upstairs and wait for Jared. I’ll stay here and wait for Theo.”

  Their eyes meet in silent conversation, and Kenneth nods, his arms dropping to his sides.

  “Okay.” He turns to me. “Would you like to come upstairs with me, or would you rather …”

  He looks back to his lifeless son lying in the bed, and I know in that instant that they know about the whole situation and the mistaken identity, my confused feelings.

  I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I want to see Jared.” My words are confident, and I lift my chin, expecting some confrontation about the whole thing.

  But Kenneth just smiles sadly and nods, leaning in to kiss his wife on the top of the head before stepping to the curtain and pulling it aside to make a gap. I force a smile and step to Deborah’s side, rubbing her back as she fusses over Theo again, brushing the hair away from his face, dabbing and wiping at his dirty face with a tissue she’s produced from her bag.

  She pats my hand but doesn’t take her eyes from Theo. “Let me know as soon as you hear anything, okay?”

  I nod and turn, following Kenneth as he strides from the room. I follow him out on my wobbly legs, trying to match my outer demeanour to his cool and calm one. He reminds me a lot of Jared—fearless, unfazed by life, ready to take on the world. I try to tap in on that strength because I feel like I’m two seconds from having a full-blown mental breakdown. The air around me feels thin, and I feel a little light-headed.

  When we get to the ward, a nurse shows us to the waiting room, promising to let us know as soon as she hears something. Kenneth and I sit. The TV is on, but I just can’t concentrate on the words. We don’t really speak other than the odd mumbled pleasantry. Neither of us has polite chitchat in us as the worry builds and builds. My eyes flit up to the clock on the wall every three minutes, which makes the time drag even further.

  It’s a very long two hours before a woman walks in, wearing surgery scrubs. My heart stutters in my chest. Kenneth jumps up, his features alight with worry. I’m watching the lady’s body language, trying to second-guess what she’s about to say. Is that expression one of sorrow, or is that small smile a good sign? I feel sick as I push myself to standing, too, and wait.

  “Mr Stone?” she asks, looking at Kenneth.

  He nods quickly, reaching up to scrub at his face. “Yes. Yes, hello.”

  “Hello, Mr Stone. I’m Doctor Prince, one of the surgeons who was working on your son Jared.” Her eyes flick to me. “Is it okay to talk to you now or …”

  Kenneth nods quickly. “Yes, this is Amy, Jared’s girlfriend.”

  Jared’s girlfriend. The words are so sweet that I feel emotion clog my throat and sting my eyes.

  The doctor smiles at me. “Ah, okay. It’s nice to meet you both. I just wanted to let you know that they’ll be bringing Jared down here to the cardiology ward in a few minutes. Has anyone explained his condition to you?”

  He’s alive! He’s okay. I reach up and grip fistfuls of my hair, my stomach loosening a little at her words. I close my eyes and focus on that. Baby steps. He’s out of surgery.

  Kenneth clears his throat. “No.” His voice is hoarse, as we sat in silence for so long.

  The doctor nods. It’s then that I notice her smile is still tight. “Well, during the crash, Jared sustained multiple injuries. The one we were most concerned about was his chest. He must have hit the steering column quite hard. That caused what we call a myocardial contusion, kind of like a bruise to the heart. It can be serious, depending on how much damage was caused. In Jared’s case, we had to rush him up to surgery to repair some of the blood vessels around his heart.” She looks from Kenneth to me and back again. “We’re happ
y with the way the surgery went. He seems stable now. We’re going to keep him sedated for a little while and keep him on a ventilator, just to let things settle so his heart doesn’t have to work too hard. Give him a bit of a rest and some time to recover. There’s a chest tube in, just to stop any fluid that might build around the area.”

  My whole body is numb as I just stare at her, taking in her words. Kenneth reaches over and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

  The doctor smiles sympathetically and continues, “He also had some lacerations to his liver and some internal bleeding, which we’ve managed to get under control. There was also an open fracture to the skull, or compound fracture as it’s also known, but tests we’ve run so far indicate there’s no damage to the brain. We’ll keep a very close eye on him for the next few hours. All being well, tomorrow, we’ll schedule more tests.”

  “Skull fracture?” Kenneth repeats.

  I close my eyes as I feel the warmth drain from my body. The list of his injuries is alarming, and my stomach begins to ache.

  “Like I said, we’ve done scans, and there doesn’t appear to be any damage to the brain. We’ll scan again tomorrow to make sure there’s no change. At the moment, we’re more focused on getting his heart in good working order. The surgeons are optimistic, but it is early days.”

  Early days. Code for don’t get your hopes up and be prepared to say good-bye just in case.

  Impossibly, my heart breaks a little bit more.

  “Once he’s all settled on the ward, one of the nurses will come and get you, and you can go in and see him,” the doctor says.

  Kenneth sticks out his hand, and they shake. When the doctor turns to me, my arm weighs so much that I can barely lift it to return her polite gesture.

  As she leaves the room, I turn to Kenneth, who blows out a relieved breath and runs a hand through his hair.

  “I should call Deborah real quick.” He fumbles with his phone, and I slump back into my seat, listening to him reassure his wife that everything went well and promising to call once we have seen him.