Reasons Not To Fall In Love Read online

  the cushions, looking for anything that might have dropped out of a pocket by accident. I needed another five pounds for the train ticket. The clock on the wall suddenly caught my eye and I gasped. If I didn’t leave this very second, I wouldn’t even need to worry about being short on cash because I’d miss the train.

  After swinging my overnight bag onto my shoulder and picking up my handbag, I ran the whole way to the station. Sweat trickled down my back by the time I arrived. The whole time I’d been running, I’d kept my eyes peeled on the floor, searching for any cash or change that someone might have accidentally dropped. Just my luck though, it seemed that the streets were clean for once.

  Once I got to Paddington station, I got in the queue to buy the ticket from an actual person rather than the automated machine. My mouth was dry as I tried my best to come up with an excuse why I didn’t have enough money to pay. This was going to be embarrassing, to say the least. I gulped as I got to the front; the haughty-looking woman eyed me expectantly as I stepped forward. As I expected, when she rang my fare through the price was forty-two pounds exactly. I didn’t have enough.

  Time to bring out the bad acting…

  I opened my purse, pulling out the money I had, and then gasped, pretending to be shocked. “Damn it, I swear I had another ten in here,” I lied, shaking my head and pulling open all of the sections.

  “Ma’am, do you want the ticket or not?” she asked with no compassion in her voice at all. She’d probably she’d seen this act thousands of times before.

  I nodded eagerly. “Yeah, I really need the ticket. My sister just had a little baby, and I need to go and see them. I don’t get to see them very often; I need to get on that train. Is there some way you could let me off of the five quid?” I asked, looking at her pleadingly.

  She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t work like that. My till would be wrong at the end of the day; I need all money accounted for. If I discounted your ticket I’d have to discount all the people in the queue,” she stated, waving her hand behind me for dramatic effect.

  “Please? I really need to get on that train. Maybe I could drop in the other six quid tomorrow night when I get back?” I suggested. I would do it, I wasn’t one to lie.

  She raised one eyebrow as if I had suggested something ridiculous, and I felt my heart sink as my eyes prickled with tears. I desperately wanted to see my sister and niece tonight. I didn’t want to be the last one to see her.

  “Bronwyn?”

  I turned curiously, wondering who had called my name. Rex stood there in his black security guard uniform with his little shiny gold badge pinned to his breast pocket. I smiled weakly. “Hi, Rex.” I’d forgotten he once told me he worked security at the station.

  “Something wrong?” he asked, walking to my side and looking from me to the ticket lady.

  “She doesn’t have enough to pay her fare,” the lady stated heartlessly.

  Heat crept up my neck and over my cheeks because someone that I knew had witnessed my shameful attempt to beg my way onto the train. “I thought I had another ten in my purse, but Finn must have taken it or something. I’m just under five quid short,” I muttered, snapping the clasp of my purse shut angrily. I would just have to go tomorrow morning with Finn in the car; there was no alternative because I didn’t drive so I couldn’t get there any other way.

  Rex smiled and shoved his hand in his pocket before holding out a ten pound note to me. “Here. Call it your tip for the next couple of weeks, huh?” he offered.

  My heart leapt in my chest at the gesture. “Seriously?” I gasped as he pushed the money into my hand.

  He nodded and smiled. “Seriously,” he confirmed.

  My shoulders relaxed as I grinned in thanks, turning and sliding the total through to the lady at the ticket booth. “Oh God, thanks so much, Rex. I really, really appreciate it,” I gushed. Maybe he isn’t such a bad guy after all!

  He laughed and pulled out a set of keys, unlocking the door to the ticket office. “No worries. Maybe next time I ask you out, you’ll consider it for a split second before you turn me down,” he joked. I laughed, knowing it wouldn’t happen because I was married. He winked at me playfully before heading into the ticket office and settling himself into a chair.

  “Rex, you’re a star! Dessert is on me next time you come to the café, OK?” I grinned happily as the lady slid my ticket across to me. “Thanks again. See you next week!” I called over my shoulder as I sprinted for my platform.

  The train ride was long, but luckily I had found a magazine on one of the empty seats so I kept myself amused by perusing that. To keep myself busy I made a call to Finn, double-checking that he’d picked up Theo and that he’d feed and bathe him before bed. He agreed to leave London the following morning early, so would be at my mum’s house a little after ten in the morning. That would give Theo a fair few hours with his grandmother.

  When the train finally rolled to a stop, I couldn’t keep the ecstatic grin off my face. It felt nice to be going home. Bath was where I grew up as a kid. We all moved away when I was in my early teens, but in the last few years my sister and mother had moved back to be closer to other family members. I’d elected to stay in London with Finn. As I stepped out of the train and onto the platform with my overnight bag on my back, I wasn’t expecting to see my mother standing there with a huge grin on her face. My heart leapt into my throat as my eyes prickled with happy tears. It had been way too long since I’d seen that smile.

  A squeal escaped my lips as I ran the five steps to her, engulfing her in a hug that was sure to have crushed her ribs against her lungs, but she hugged me back with the same intensity. The smell of her hair wafted up my nostrils, and the feeling of being a child again washed over me making my stomach clench as a contented sigh left my lips.

  “Oh, Mum, it’s been way too long,” I croaked as the emotion bubbled over. I spoke to her often, of course, but it wasn’t the same.

  “It certainly has. I’ve missed you.” She pulled back, smiling over at me as she stroked my hair down for me, her eyes soft and caring. “Come on, let’s get to the hospital. Visiting started ten minutes ago,” she suggested, looping her arm through mine and tugging me towards the car park out front.

  “I’ve missed ten minutes of baby hugging time?” I gasped, faking outrage. She chuckled and started gushing then about baby Evie and how beautiful she was. In fact, she didn’t stop gushing for the whole car ride.

  When we arrived at the hospital and Mum led us up to the maternity ward where Skye was, the haughty-looking nurse stepped in front of us and shook her head. “Sorry, but it’s limited to three visitors at a time. One of you will have to wait outside and then you’ll have to swap in after,” she stated firmly.

  I frowned. I remembered visiting hours rules when I was in hospital having Theo, but I’d had a lovely midwife, and she’d allowed us to break the rules providing we were quiet. It looked like Skye’s ward had different staff to the one I gave birth in. Mum groaned and nodded, waving towards the door. “You go in, you haven’t seen her yet. Tell whoever it is in there that I’m waiting and we’ll all take turns, swapping in every ten minutes or something,” she suggested, giving me a little encouraging push towards the door.

  I wasn’t going to argue with that, I could barely wait another second without seeing my sister and niece. As I stepped through the door of the room, I looked around hesitantly. The room had six beds in, all occupied by the look of it. On first glance I couldn’t see Skye or her husband Brandon, so I walked in, peeking around the curtains, hoping for the right one, muttering an apology to each new mother as they looked up to see who I was. When I got to the last curtain, my heart started to pound in my chest. The sound of my sister’s tinkling laugh caught my attention. As I stepped around the corner, she looked up and a huge smile crept onto her lips.

  “Bronny!” she cried happily.

  I didn’t even realise I’d been holding my breath as I’d stealthily intruded on everyone
else’s intimate moments, but seeing my sister for the first time in three months, and knowing that my big sister now had the one thing she always dreamt of, made the air rush out of my lungs.

  Somehow, my legs carried me across the room to the side of her bed and I engulfed her in a hug. I was so happy for her that I didn’t even feel the need to scold her for calling me Bronny even though she knew I hated it. I was so pleased for her that it was a little overwhelming. “Congratulations,” I whispered, kissing the side of her head as my eyes filled with tears.

  “Thank you!” she chirped. She looked so thrilled to be a mum that it was practically bursting from every pore. “Want to hold her?”

  I nodded, pulling back and wiping my tears away quickly. “Heck yeah I do! Where is she?” I turned and came face to face with my brother-in-law, Brandon. “Hey, Daddy!” I greeted, pulling him into a hug too, patting his back proudly.

  “Hey, Auntie,” he replied.

  I giggled excitedly and pulled back, immediately seeing the little clear plastic cot that was on the other side of Skye’s bed. I’d walked straight past it without even noticing. As I stepped to the side of her cot, I could practically feel the ‘broody’ building inside me. The little bundle in there made my eyes widen as I chewed on my lip and looked over the edge of the cot. Evie was beautiful, stunning even, and love built in my chest so much that I thought I would burst with it. I will definitely be a kick-arse auntie, I vowed.

  The tears were full-on flowing down my face now as I looked down at the perfect little bundle. She was sleeping peacefully and still had the slight discolouration to her face where she’d been inside the womb for so long. Slipping my hands under her body, I picked her up, carefully cradling her in my arms. She didn’t even stir. Through the material of her baby grow, I could feel her tiny heart thrumming against my hand. I was lost in the beauty of a new-born baby. She was so precious that it made me want to cry, and she was so lucky too because she was going to grow up with amazing parents.

  I felt the goofy happy smile stretch across my face as I stared at her. “Hi, beautiful,” I greeted.

  “Hi yourself.” It was a male voice, and it came from behind me. I frowned, looking over my shoulder to see a man with dark blonde hair and dark brown eyes. He was breathtakingly handsome. His jaw was lined with short stubble, his hair was longer than I would normally like for a guy and curled slightly at the nape of his neck where it needed a trim and tidy-up, but strangely, it suited him like that. He wore a dark grey suit that fitted him perfectly, showing off his strong shoulders and small waist. He’d paired it with a white shirt underneath and a red tie, which hung loosely around his neck. As his chocolate coloured eyes met mine, a smile twitched at the corners of his full lips.

  A lump formed in my throat for some reason, but I didn’t know why.

  Skye cleared her throat dramatically. “Er, Harrison, don’t even think about hitting on my little sister,” she warned. “Besides, she’s married,” she added rather smugly.

  I blinked a couple of times, trying to come back to reality because looking at him made me feel a little weird inside. Harrison. I’d heard of this guy. He was the one who was in business with Brandon. The two of them had both been made redundant from their advertising jobs last year and had decided to go into business together instead of looking for another job. Skye and Brandon had become extremely good friends with this guy over the last year, so I’d heard. I’d never personally met him, but now that I knew who he was, I knew to stay away. Harrison Baxter was a ladies’ man and fancied himself as Bath’s answer to James Bond, apparently.

  One of the gorgeous stranger’s eyebrows rose. “Married, really? Damn, all of the hot ones are always taken or gay. Why is that, do you think?” he mused, cocking his head to the side playfully.

  His voice did funny things to my insides. I was lost for words. Nothing was coming out of my mouth at all, so I just looked back down at Evie who was nestled comfortably in my arms.

  “You happily married?” he probed, stepping closer to me. The heat emanating from his body to mine was making me feel a little jittery and I couldn’t stand still.

  No, not at all. I gulped and nodded in answer to his question, trying to ignore the feelings of lust and want that were battling inside me. It was wrong for me to feel like this. I knew it was. I was married, and although Finn cheated on me occasionally, I would never do the same. “Happy married with a child,” I confirmed, nodding. Only part of that sentence was a lie. I did, in fact, have a child – I had just never been happily married. The lie came easily to me though; it always did in front of family. I never told them how hard things were for me, no one knew what my life was truly like. From the outside I played the perfect little loved-up wife, even my sister didn’t know about Finn and what went on between us. They all knew he’d cheated once, three years ago when I left him, but no one knew that it continued after I took him back. I’d often wondered what my life would be like if we hadn’t reconciled, but the answer was always the same – my life would have been exactly as it was now, only I would climb into a cold bed every night and not have anyone to wake up when I got scared of a stupid noise in the middle of the night.

  Harrison sucked in a breath through his pearly white teeth. “Bugger. Oh well. Never mind then,” he replied, reaching up and running a hand through his already messy hair.

  Turning my attention back to my niece, I smiled. I could still remember Theo this tiny. It was almost as if he had been born yesterday. I was so broody that it was unreal. I already knew that I would want another baby for weeks after this.

  After fifteen minutes of me cuddling with the tiny little bundle and talking to Skye about the birth, the curtain pulled back and someone peeked in. “Sorry to interrupt, but you have two more visitors outside itching to come in. Could you maybe stagger your visitors so that you only have two at a time?” the nurse asked.

  I winced. I’d been so carried away and lost in the moment that I’d forgotten that my mum was outside. I was supposed to have swapped with her so she could have a cuddle too. “Oops, Mum’s going to kill me! I was supposed to have swapped after ten minutes.” I chuckled guiltily and dipped my head, planting a soft kiss on Evie’s forehead before holding her out to Skye. “I’ll swap back in with Mum again in a little while,” I promised. I didn’t want to leave but with the restriction on visitors, only two people were allowed in plus the baby’s dad.

  Harrison stood from the chair that was by the side of the bed. “I should probably get going anyway. Give me a call when you’re home, and I’ll come for a longer visit then. I only came to bring my present,” he stated, grinning.

  Skye made a half scoff in her throat and shook her head. “Yeah, thanks for that. At least her Halloween outfit is already sorted.”

  “Halloween outfit? That’s a coming home outfit if ever I saw one,” Harrison replied with mock hurt.

  I frowned, wondering what his present was – until my eyes settled on the baby Yoda outfit that was hanging over the back of a chair. It even had a soft toy lightsaber sewn to its belt. I gasped. “Oh God that’s awesome! Did you get that? I love it!” I chirped, laughing. I was a huge Star Wars fan.

  Harrison grinned and nodded rather proudly. “Yep. Saw it and had to get it.”

  The nurse cleared her throat dramatically behind us, signalling for us to get a move on. I grinned at the outfit again, already wondering where he got it from and if I could get one in Theo’s size. “I’d better go. I’ll see you in a little while.” I turned and walked towards the curtain, knowing my mum was probably biting her nails down to the quick while waiting for me to come out. Behind me, I could hear Harrison saying his goodbyes.

  “About time!” Mum announced as I walked out. Brandon’s mother stood next to her, both looking just as eager as she was to take my visitors place. Neither of them wasted any time darting in there as soon as I stepped out of the room.

  I eyed the clock. It wasn’t even half past seven yet, so I would get plenty mor
e baby snuggling time before visiting hours ended. Instead of leaving, like I’d assumed he would, Harrison stopped at my side. “So, how old is your son or daughter?”

  “He’s almost six.” I smiled at the thought of Theo; he was the only good thing that had ever come from his jack-off of a father.

  “Skye talks about you a lot. You live in London, don’t you?” I nodded in answer to his question. “You driving home tonight or…?”

  “No, I’m staying at my mum’s, and then my husband and little boy are coming tomorrow to see Evie.”

  “That’s nice. You, er, want to get a coffee or something while you wait for your turn to go in again?” he offered, nodding at the maternity ward door.

  At the mention of coffee, my mouth watered. I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for the last few hours, and was actually ravenous. “Sure,” I agreed, following him along the hallway and out of the ward. “You not got anything to rush home for?”

  He shrugged. “Only tonight’s Hollyoaks but I taped that so we’re all good,” he joked, winking at me.

  “So you’re a Star Wars fan?” I asked, remembering the Yoda outfit.

  A grin stretched across his face. By the time we got to the hospital café, we were engrossed in a debate about which was the greatest Star Wars movie. Still immersed in the argument, I loaded a sandwich onto my tray while he made two coffees. When we got to the till, he paid before I even had a chance to get my purse from my bag. He waved his hand dismissively at my protests and offered to pay for mine. I had to smile at how sweet he was.

  Choosing a seat in the busy café, talk turned to his job and how he knew Brandon and Skye. Surprisingly, conversation was easy and flowing. He was extremely easy to get along with, and incredibly funny too. I could see why my sister and brother-in-law liked this guy, I’d known him for a little over half an hour, and in that time he’d got me under his spell too. He was a genuinely nice guy – and hot to boot!

  When his leg accidentally brushed mine as he shifted in his seat, my mind was already running rampant again. I really had no idea what was going on inside me. I’d never been attracted to another guy before, never even entertained the thought, but the warmth emanating from his thigh to mine made my stomach clench and the skin on my arms to prickle.

  I took a bite of my sandwich, noticing he was watching my every move.

  “So, what will it take for me to convince you to stay at my place tonight instead of your mum’s?” he asked, raising one eyebrow as he sipped his coffee.

  I laughed at his attempt. The involuntary smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. I really didn’t want to find this guy funny, but I just couldn’t help myself. “Copious amount of alcohol, dancing and a kebab,” I joked.

  “Done,” he agreed. “You’ll have the time of your life.” He smirked at me, and my lungs constricted at the promise in his voice. It had been so incredibly long since I’d had someone look at me the way he was looking at me. Sure, Finn and I still had an active sex life because a girl still had needs, but he didn’t look