Blurring the Lines Page 9

  I smiled wickedly. “And what if I want to make it hard for you?” I flirted. While he was distracted, I shoved my hands down, getting to work on the knots at my hips, tugging quickly.

  “Well, I guess life is supposed to be a little hard,” he muttered breathlessly.

  A little hard, jeez, it feels like he’s smuggling an iron bar to me! I giggled at the thought and tugged the bikini bottoms free, again lifting them out of the water to make sure he saw them before tossing them to the terrace. A pained expression flitted across his features. I couldn’t stop the smug smile that stretched across my face.

  “A little hard?” I inquired, raising an eyebrow suggestively as I looped my arms around his neck again.

  His fingers bit into my back as his eyes came back to meet mine. “Maybe a lot hard,” he growled, crashing his lips to mine.

  My whole body immediately felt alive as the passion woke inside me. I pulled back quickly though, breaking the kiss. There was something I wanted him to do before this happened. I quickly unwrapped myself from him and swam away a couple of feet, smiling teasingly. He was begging me with his eyes to go back to him and finish what I’d clearly instigated, but I knew he would never utter the words.

  “Oh, don’t give me the puppy dog eyes,” I said, laughing as I almost gave in. I nodded towards the terrace before my will crumbled. “I want to see you dive. You need to loosen up too.”

  He groaned and looked back at the terrace where I’d dived from. Wordlessly, he turned and swam to the steps, climbing and walking to the railing, his eyes not leaving me as he raised his foot.

  I shook my head quickly. “Lose the shorts. You won’t need those,” I called, winking at him playfully.

  As he pulled his shorts off, letting them drop the ground in a soggy pile, I bit my lip as he exposed all of his perfection. My insides fluttered as he climbed to the top of the railing, standing there in all of his naked glory. My heart raced as I watched how the sun reflected off his wet body and how his hair glistened in the sunshine, like it was covered in a thousand little diamonds.

  When he smiled down at me, my whole body seemed to tingle as it suddenly dawned on me. I wasn’t just crazy about him; I was totally, utterly, and devastatingly in love with him. I didn’t think I’d actually loved anything or anyone more, maybe not even Jack. I loved Jack so much, I still did, and he would always have a piece of my heart, but impossibly, I’d fallen in love with Ashton so hard that it actually hurt. It was like he was my everything, my sun, my air, my whole life rolled up into one six foot package. Time seemed to stand still, and it felt as if my whole life had been building up to this moment here with him, as if the sole purpose for me being on this earth was to love this boy. Ashton completed me, and I’d only just realised.

  He dove off the railing, disappearing into the ocean, and I came back to reality with a bump. My eyes widened as panic started to build inside me. How had I let this happen? What was I supposed to do with this knowledge now? Maybe I’d always been in love with him, but I was too afraid or stupid to admit it. I was in some serious trouble because he didn’t love me. Yes, he lusted after me and we were friends, but someone like him would never be content with someone as broken as me. He deserved far better and far more than I would ever be able to give him. I would never be good enough for Ashton Taylor.

  A whimper escaped my lips as I looked back at the stairs. I contemplated running, just climbing out of the water and running as fast and as far as I could. The feelings inside me were crushing me, squeezing my heart and making my skin prickle with fear. Since Jack, I hadn’t allowed myself to care about anything for fear of being hurt again, but somehow, Ashton had broken down my barriers and had set up camp in my heart without me even being aware what he was doing. The boy had totally stolen my heart without my permission.

  Before I could even get a grip on the thoughts that were circling around my head, hands gripped my thighs and he broke the surface of the water just in front of me. When he smiled and wiped the water from his eyes, my heart thumped in my chest and I no longer wanted to run. In fact, what I actually wanted was to be closer to him, so close that I melted into him.

  Knowing I couldn’t let on how I felt, I decided to act casual and pretend that this whole devastating realisation hadn’t just happened, that my world hadn’t just shifted, that my heart didn’t belong to him and him alone. If he knew the crushing feelings I had for him, it would probably terrify him to the very core just like it did me. Ashton Taylor was not the commitment type of guy.

  Forcing a smile, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Well, I liked your form,” I joked, noticing how my voice sounded strained and not like mine at all.

  His answering smile dazzled me. “I’m glad I impressed you.”

  “You always impress me.” That was the truth. Giving in to the passion that was consuming me, I gripped the back of his head. “Kiss me then.” Not giving him the chance to answer or turn me down, I pulled his mouth to mine. He kissed me back so softly that it made me want to cry. It was beautiful. His touch was soft and gentle as his hands wandered down my body, pulling me closer to him and guiding my legs around his waist. My hands twisted into his wet hair as I kissed him with everything that I had inside me, showing him that I loved him without actually saying the words.

  My stomach fluttered as I clamped myself to him, revelling in the feeling of his skin against mine. I needed him. I needed more than this kiss. I needed to be completely at one with him, consumed by him, and possessed by him. My whole body ached with a desperate longing that I’d never felt for anyone else.

  I broke the kiss and put my forehead to his. “Make love to me, Ashton,” I begged.

  His lips parted as he looked at me curiously for a few seconds before pressing his lips to mine softly again for a split second. “I can’t. I don’t have any condoms,” he whispered. He actually looked a little annoyed with himself as he said it.

  I sighed and tightened my grip on him. I didn’t even care. If I got pregnant, I would love his babies just as much as I loved him. “I don’t care. Make love to me, please? I need you to.” I looked into his beautiful green eyes, and my insides did a little flip. His eyes were easily my favourite part of his body – and that was saying something because his body was flawless, so his eyes were nothing short of spectacular. I could look into them forever and it still wouldn’t be long enough.

  A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth before he kissed me again, nibbling on my bottom lip gently. As the kiss deepened, I realised that every touch and every kiss was different now. I silently wondered if it was because I knew now what ‘making love’ truly was. Was that why being in his arms like this, surrounded by beautiful paradise as far as the eye could see, felt so intimate and amazing? Every touch of his hands was like he was touching my heart and soul; my whole being was aching for him.

  I wriggled my hips, trying to get impossibly closer to him. My love for him overwhelmed me as I whimpered into his mouth praying that this moment would last forever. I didn’t ever want to come out of this little Ashton bubble that I was trapped in. We’d been on this island for less than an hour, and already it was the best time I’d ever had in my life.

  When he broke the kiss and trailed little kisses down the side of my neck, I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut. “This is gonna be the best Christmas and New Year, ever,” I mumbled. I would do everything in my power to make sure this was the best time he’d ever had too. It frightened me to think just how far I would go to make him happy.

  “Yeah, it is,” he agreed huskily. His grip tightened on my hips, moving me a fraction so that our bodies lined up. When I felt pressure at my entrance, I kissed him desperately as he pulled me down gently; entering me so slowly that it was almost maddening.

  I moaned at the sheer ecstasy of having him inside me again. It was almost as if I’d been holding my breath for the last two months and now I could finally breathe again. His breath blew across my lips as I pressed my forehead to his and looked
into his eyes as he built up a slow and steady rhythm, forcing my pleasure higher and higher with each gentle thrust of his hips.

  While we made love, I savoured every second of it, committing every detail to memory. It was beautiful, and the most bitter sweet moment of my life. Everything about it was perfect, from the place, to the warm water that covered our bodies, to the way his hands and mouth seemed to worship my body as he made love to me. Every move was so sweet and tender that it made my heart throb in my chest.

  When he held me still against him and swam for the villa, I thought he was going to get us out of the ocean, but he didn’t. Instead, he pushed me up against one of the wooden stilts and continued his beautiful, yet torturous assault. I rested my head back on the post and just looked into his eyes. A strange thought suddenly occurred to me. I was almost grateful for everything that had happened to me in my past. If Carter hadn’t done what he’d done, then I probably wouldn’t have met Ashton. As his mouth closed over mine and his taste filled my senses, I knew that I would go through all of that stuff with Carter in a heartbeat, just for this one perfect moment with Ashton.

  A small smile resided on his lips the whole time that he made love to me, his whole face beamed with happiness. The pleasure he was giving me was building to impossible heights. I closed my eyes, tipping my head back, losing myself in the moment and the sensations.

  “Look at me, Baby Girl,” he said breathlessly. “Please look at me.” I forced my eyes open, looking back to his angelic face as he smiled and put his forehead against mine. His eyes locked on mine as he continued to take my body and soul to heaven. “That’s better,” he whispered, kissing me softly.

  I moaned into his mouth so loudly that it was almost embarrassing, but I couldn’t contain it. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as was the whoosh of my own blood that was pumping through my veins. Suddenly it hit me, an orgasm so powerful that it made me bite down onto his lip roughly as my whole body shook and convulsed. His fingers dug into my thighs as his mouth claimed mine in a kiss that felt like he was trying to devour my very soul.

  His body tensed too, and he pulled out of me, moaning into my mouth as he found his release too.

  I gasped, and my eyes fluttered closed again as my head tipped back lifelessly against the hard, wooden post he was pinning me against. A tired smile twitched at the corner of my mouth as I looked back at him, seeing that his eyes were shining with passion as he brushed my wet hair back gently.

  I wanted so very much to tell him that I loved him, but I couldn’t. Instead, I swallowed the words, knowing that if I said them, it would ruin everything and that he would run away from me as fast as his legs would carry him. I needed him now; I needed him in my life, so I knew I couldn’t risk confessing my feelings for him. I was just content in making him happy, and giving him what he wanted. I would take as much as he would give, for as long as he was willing to give it for.

  Tears welled in my eyes as the vulnerability of being in love again overwhelmed me. Questions consumed me, worries, insecurities, fears; all of it surfaced and actually terrified me to the very core. How could I possibly have let this happen? How could I have given this boy the power to kill me? What would I do if something happened to him now? I would be lost.

  A frown pulled at his forehead as he cupped my cheek in his hand and brushed his thumb under my eye, wiping away the tear that must have leaked out.

  I forced a smile, knowing that he was probably worried that he’d upset me again. “That was perfect, Ashton. It was honestly the most beautiful and special thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you,” I whispered, praying that my words wouldn’t scare him away from me. I leant forward, pressing my forehead against his as I tightened my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

  I would remember this moment forever. It would always be the best thing that had ever happened to me. He bent his head and kissed the tears from my cheeks, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to, I knew that he didn’t love me like I loved him, and that was okay. As long as I could make him happy in a small way, even for a little while, I would do whatever it took.

  He held me close to him, pressing me against the wooden post gently while treading water for ages, but it still wasn’t long enough. Neither of us had said a word since I said about how perfect it was. When he pushed us away from the post and swam for the stairs, still holding me close to his chest, I smiled and wrapped my legs tightly around his waist. He strode effortlessly out of the water, carrying me over to one of the sun loungers on our terrace before lying down at my side. There was a strange look on his face, almost like he was trying hard to think of something to say, or to stop himself from saying something. Maybe he didn’t want to ruin the moment, just like I didn’t.

  Sighing contentedly, I combed my fingers through his hair. My mind drifted to the little girl that I’d once dreamt of, the one with the exact same shade of hair as his. I wanted that dream to be real so badly. I wanted that little girl with him, and the way he looked at me so tenderly as he’d walked across the grass to me. But I knew I couldn’t have it. Ashton would never want anything serious, what he wanted was the physical stuff and nothing more.

  The solution was simple. I wouldn’t tell him how I felt, and I wouldn’t let him into my heart any more than he already was. Deep down I knew I needed to be careful and guard myself a little more because otherwise he would crush me completely. I couldn’t let myself build a life with him, only to have him leave me in four months to go back to Los Angeles. Even as the thought formed in my mind, I knew I was only fooling myself. My whole world revolved around him already and always had done since the first time I saw him, but I’d refused to see it. Even my parents had seen it. Now I understood the knowing smiles and the little looks that they gave each other – they could see what I refused to see, that I was falling for him hook, line and sinker. I’d never even stood a chance.

  As my eyes met his again, my whole body started longing for him immediately. The way his sensuous lips curved up reminded me of the little smile that had graced his lips while he’d made love to me in the water. My skin was tingling all over as my finger traced the line of his jaw before trailing down his neck. This was such a nice position to be in, that part of me didn’t want to move, but another part, the playful side that he brought out in me, was urging me on.

  “I’m gonna go get in the shower. Want to come and wash my back?” I asked, raising one eyebrow in clear invitation.

  His eyes flashed with excitement as he nodded eagerly, so I knew we would be on the same wavelength. Ashton never was slow on the uptake. “Hell yeah I do.” I giggled at his enthusiasm and pushed myself out of his arms quickly, running for the door as I grinned over my shoulder, knowing he would follow me. He laughed wickedly as he pushed himself up too. “I do enjoy the sight of you running naked, Baby Girl.” My excitement bumped up another level as he jumped to his feet and gave chase.

  Chapter Seven

  After an exhausting shower with him, I quickly dried my hair and pulled on a short, yellow sun dress and some white flip-flops. When I glanced over at him, I internally swooned because of how handsome he looked. He was merely wearing a pair of beige shorts and a white T-shirt, but he was just so captivating that it took my breath away.

  “You ready, Baby Girl?” he asked, holding out a hand to me. I nodded and took his hand, allowing him to pull me up from the dresser chair. “You look so beautiful, Anna,” he whispered as he bent his head and kissed me. My body reacted immediately to his touch, so I pushed him away quickly before I threw him on the bed and had my way with him again.

  “Come on, I know you’re hungry, let’s go eat. You’ll need to build up your strength if you’re hoping to keep up with me on this trip,” I teased playfully.

  The lustful look that crossed his face made my body tingle. “In that case, I’d better eat twice as much as normal if I’m going to be burning off a lot of energy,” he answered, smiling at me. I rolled my eyes, fighting to keep the smi
le off my lips, but failing miserably.

  “Come on, before all the cocktails are gone.” I looped his camera over my wrist as we stepped out of the cool air conditioned room and into the fresh muggy air of paradise. His hand closed over mine as we walked along the little pathway towards the beach. The sun’s rays were bouncing off of the ocean making it glitter and sparkle.

  The water sports hut caught my attention. “Want to try snorkelling tomorrow?”

  He shrugged easily. “Whatever you want, Baby Girl.”

  Of course, he led us over to the outdoor grill that the manager had mentioned. His eyes lit up like a starving man that had just been given his first meal in a year when he saw the array of foods being cooked on the four large open grills. It took a surprisingly long time for him to make up his mind, and once we had two enormous plates laden with food, we headed off to the side so we could sit on the beach and eat.

  As I sat, he smiled down at me and held out his plate. “Hold this for me. I’ll be right back,” he stated, grinning. I frowned, confused, but took his plate anyway, watching as he strutted off towards a little beach hut about twenty yards away. His eyes never left me for more than a couple of seconds the whole time he was away from me. When he turned back to me, I smiled at the two coconuts in his hand.

  “What’s that?” I asked, eyeing them curiously. Fruit skewers, curly straws and mini umbrellas poked out of the top of each one.